I still can't know if people around me are real or not. I'm starting to think my ex isn't even real and what we did didn't existed. It feels like my life is just a fever dream and I’m waiting to wake up. Everything feels fake. The conversations, the feelings, the memories… sometimes I’ll be sitting there replaying something that happened with him and suddenly my brain goes “what if none of that was real? What if he was never even there?” It makes me feel insane. I’ll scroll through old messages and question if I made them up. I’ll remember the way he touched me and then immediately doubt it happened. My ocd is also telling me to jump in front of a train, and the derealization is adding up "i should jump to see if it's real" so i step back because i'm scared. it all started when i was in call with a friend. it is SO annoying. idk what else to say tbh